I spent my day frying outdoors while watching a charity vintage baseball game in support of the local domestic violence shelter. I am now Extra Crispy Sammy with a side of sun-fried brain mush. Why must charity events always be outdoors in the scorching sun/freezing rain/bitterly cold wind/etc? It never fails. I am more than happy to go to such events and drop money on $3.00 hotdogs, $5.00 margaritas, and ridiculous raffles that I'll never win anyway -- since I did all those things today while burning to a crisp -- but the aftermath is never pretty. I try to avoid the sun/heat/cold/rain/etc., being the big weather sissy I am (I melt. Seriously.), yet throw a "Charity Fundraiser..." in front of an event listing and I'll haul my prissy ass out of hiding to join in for a good cause.
I think I need to get into the habit of writing checks in lieu of going to the actual events. Well, outdoor events, or events that could possibly involve small children since they tend to drag on forever. Ok, all events, since I really don't have the patience to last out the day. Checks are easier and charities enjoy cold hard cash (check?) just as much as they enjoy that cash dropped into a traveling bucket at a charity base/volley/basketball game. Hey, that's one less person they have to booze up and feed, so everyone wins in the end!
My grandma writes checks. She's done it all her life. The only charity event she goes to is the annual corn boil her church hosts and she goes because she loves corn. If it were a potato boil or whatever other boil you might have, she'd send a check along and spend her morning cussing out the squirrels ripping off her bird feeders and kicking my ass at battle sudoku. Even when we were all in girl scouts, she'd never buy the cookies, she'd just give us a check, since she knew two things in her infinitie, old-lady wisdom: 1) the troop got all the money from the check, but less than half from the cookies; and 2) keebler makes all the same cookies in bigger packages at cheaper prices and they're sold at walmart, so why buy them from us?
My grandma's always been very practical. That's hard to understand as a child, especially a young brownie wanted to sell enough boxes of cookies to afford that sweet new brownie pin to put on her sash next to all those badges, but now that I'm older, poorer, and far less tolerant of children/weather/stupidity/fundraisers/etc, I understand fully and aspire to be as no-nonsense as my grandmother. Oh, and checks are easier when it comes to tax deductions. That was her third reason.
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